bird cage

bird cage

Sunday, January 29, 2017

I'm suffering...

I'm really suffering here!

I hate this.

And she doing it again.
She ignoring me.
Why did she always do that?
I'm fucking hate that.

I hate myself.

Damn...

I hate today...

Friday, January 27, 2017

怎么办?

除夕夜就酱过了。

。。。。。。

明天初一,要到处跑去亲戚家拜访。
那些问答题。。。
咳~
我真的很不想面对。

说好的生病呢?
为什么我身体酱强壮?
该病的时候不病,不该病的时候你给我生病!

是怎样现在,蛤?!

。。。。。。

明天。。。
真不想过。。。
我好想逃。。。

怎么办?

。。。。。。

我好讨厌今年的新年!


来自:讨厌新年的我

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Black Sesame Seed Chiffon Cake

It's been a while i bake something. This 2 weeks, all my works it to paint my wall, the doors, and furniture. I don't even have my time to bake. Thank god, i don't have to do that again. At least not today. 

Anyway, my mom had bought me a pack of sesame seed. You see, i just ask her why she always buys cashew nuts to eat and not sesame seed. The funny thing is the next day she actually bought me sesame seed. Then she said, for you. I said, Har? What? I just asking that's all, she not even giving me the reason instead bought it for me. Mom, what are you thinking? 

Well, is not that bad after all, i still can try to make 'things'. With these much of black sesame seed, to tell you the truth, i don't actually know what to do. All i really want is to eat a sponge cake. That's it. Either way, i have to bake myself a cake and the other day I also saw one video from a Korean guy who eats a cake in which made with sesame seed. So i'm thinking why not just add in the black sesame instead. Now here, the black sesame seed chiffon cake.






Black Sesame Chiffon Cake
Ingredients:

3 egg yolks
20g sugar
50g vegetable oil
90ml milk
70g cake flour
25g black sesame seed (weight then crush)
3 egg whites
50g sugar
Shredded almond (optional)

Steps:
1. Prepare parchment paper only for the bottom of the baking pan. (I used bread loaf pan, not sure what the size is)
2. Preheat oven 170°C.
3. Beat the egg yolk + sugar until thicken a bit.
4. Gradually pour in vegetable oil and beat until pale yellow.
5. Then, slowly add in milk and whisk combine.
6. Sift in cake flour + black sesame seed and mix. (*do not overly mix)
7. Another clean bowl beat egg whites until foamy then add 1/3 sugar in it. Continue to beat the egg whites by partially add in another 1/3 sugar. Repeat the remaining sugar until the sugar is dissolved.  
8. It should be beaten until the stage at medium peak.
9. Pour the batter into the baking pan and tap the pan on the table surface to remove air bubble.
10. Oven 170°C, bake for 25-30mins.
11. Once done baking take it out and invert the cake onto the wire rack to let it cool completely.

*Try to cut down the oil by10g (50g-10g=40g)
*Make sure the sesame seed has been roasted!
  -If not, the flavor doesn’t come out and there is a bit of grassy taste.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

蓝瘦,香菇。。。

新年快要到了!今年。。。

可以不要过吗?

我很不想面对那些长辈,不想面对种种的问答。从以前就不喜欢过年,虽然有钱收。可是就不喜欢回去带着面具面对各式各样的长辈。扮乖巧的,装熟女的,假笑什么的这也还好(虽然很假,很累)可是最,最,最重要的是那些不熟悉的亲戚。每次都被说没礼貌没叫人。那些亲戚有的没的,我那懂!而且要我叫那些名称,我根本记不起!为什么华人要那么复杂呢?就不能只叫叔叔,阿姨,哥哥或姐姐吗?

这些都其次了。今年的心情特别的比较负面。因为某方面问题,自己很不想面对,也不懂怎样解决。搞到我不懂该怎样做。就因这,我说了很多个谎话。我,再也不懂要造些什么谎了,在也不懂得怎么藏了。因为知道迟早会穿帮。而且我也很懒得去想了。你说我可以怎样?

听到除夕夜不用回去,我心花怒放了!问题是,初一以后呢?我还能逃吗?

啊~

去年的这个时候我生病了。可惜为什么不是在2017呢?真的很希望那天生了个大病!不要出门也不用面对他们!真的好想好想 生病。请容许我这次吧。我求您!

钱?今年就算吧。

蛤~  蓝瘦,香菇啊~

来自:心情低落及讨厌新年的我

Sunday, January 15, 2017

负能量篇【觉得沉重就闪一边去!】

嗯。。。
你们不用给我看我都懂。
虽然我没正眼看你们我懂你们在想什么,
我很没用,废人一个。

你以为我不想要个正常的生活吗?
工作,拥有自己的零用钱,买自己想要的东西,去旅行。
这些东西你觉得我不想要吗?

我说这些或许对于你们来说是借口。
要不然觉得我成天异想天开!
但是,我也不想。
因为这。。。真的成为我的阻力/阻碍。

那种恐惧与害怕我相信每个人都会经历。
而我那种恐惧与害怕,你们又知些什么?

不是没试过找到了工作因恐惧,临时辞职不做。
因为害怕,连面试的前一刻临时推掉。
要不然就是电话不敢接,不敢打,车不敢驾,不敢自己一个人出去买东西。
每次想要踏出那个门或驾车都要考虑一段时间。
这种恐惧与害怕。。。
不,这种失败感谁又懂?

在你们眼中我的却是个废青,废物或者你们常说的‘无脑’。
我这么的无能,那你们又知道其实在这里我比你们任何一个人更讨厌自己,更自卑,更感到失败吗?

在这里,我比你们更想改变自己!


那。。。谁又懂。。。



来自:寻找着出路的我

Monday, January 9, 2017

Mcdonald's Dessert (Red Bean)

It's time for another food taste test from Mcdonald's. And the 'theme' / series is Red Bean. 


You know what, this is actually not bad. First of all, about the Red Bean Sundae was surprised it doesn't overly sweet. It pretty quite matches with the vanilla ice-cream. The red bean sauce, not too sweet, and what're more it remains the consistency of the red bean. As for what it means is the red bean is not the kind of mushy. As an example of Anko (Red Bean Paste)-- Tsubuan type but more liquidy base.

Since, i bought back to home it was melt. I taste it for a few scoop, and it was not bad. Then, i put back into the freezer to freeze. At first, i didn't of any but, it just tastes familiar. The decision not to continue to eat melty ice-cream is correct. After taken out from the freezer, it just solidified a bit. You maybe know what it would taste like if you guess correctly. As for what i get to tasted is like ice-cream potong, red bean version. Also, what added a point of this red bean series, is Matcha ice-cream. It definitely goes well with it. Unfortunately, Mcdonald's doesn't sell Match ice-cream, though. Overall, i would give it 8/10. As for the pie, i ate it cold so my taste of it maybe not too correct but i'll give it 6/10. It just okay for me. Oh yeah, before i forget, the red bean ice-cream, try to make yourself mochi and then wrap the ice-cream in it. It will definitely,100% sure it taste really good. Just try it!

P.S: About the golden prosperity burger, i had thought i to buy it. However, it is kinda expensive for me so, i just bought another cheaper burger instead.

(Kinda melted)
*Not sponsor

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

New Year Resolution

I don't usually make any new year resolution, for the past. I don't know why this year there the 'new year resolution' is everywhere. Well, is not a bad thing but, what i think is probably useless (for me at least) as my personality, i don't usually follow what I've planned nor written down. Even shopping list, i wrote down every single item that i want to buy, however, at the end i still over budget on other things i saw. Thus, new resolution maybe not the best way to work out for me. Nevertheless, i still can plan what i want to do this year, though. Just let see how will i complete the task i plan today right here, right now. 


  1. Make my own an RPG game (not horror/puzzle type but more toward to story base)
  2. Lose weight (Every Fxxk year i say to myself, but still gaining fat. Damn!)
  3. Complete my very own 1st story (a rough idea for the different story but still lack of creativity to complete the story as a whole. Right now, i have 3-4 different story in my head but it just a small part of the idea for each story.)
  4. Learn to read/ at least be able to listen Japanese (I had bought so many books but too lazy to read, i'm not a reading person, though.)
  5. Be able to fix my 'social anxiety' (Not sure i have one but until now i still scared how people look at me / think what a person i am. Look at the stranger as well as communicate with them, there is so much thinking!I would like to stop.It so suffering!)
  6. Be able to find a way to make $ and i am happy about it. (Still difficulty in searching job.)
  7. Consider to open a youtube account (i have one but do not know what content of the video to upload with.)
  8. Be happy! (a totally depressing state right now)

So, let see how will i gonna complete these, this year. Maybe not a single from the list will complete, though. Very well, let see in 2018.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Midnight Puppeteer [RPG Game]

This game story probably the first top that i like. It doesn't contain any gore or horror stuff but, the storyline they created, is too just awesome!Those puzzles quite hard,though (for a noob me, yes it is hard). One thing i like the game is that the changing cloth session. They come up pretty much of clothes for the main character to change. What clothes they have? Just play it yourself. If you asked is that a horrifying game? No, however, there is a part about crawling into ventilation, they made it quite horrified. It just like there is jumpscare at any minute, and yeah great job guys!

My feeling toward this game is just great!Really great! This is what i hope for the RPG game. I like horror and gore game but if there someone to play it. I'm not a gamer but just a girl who like to watch some else play the game. My type of game or i would likely to play myself, this game is probably what i seek for. The storyline is what important to me, the puzzle things not my fav.  And, yeah, i hope there is others game similar to this. 

End: 2 bad, 1 true
Source: http://vgperson.com/games/midnightpuppeteer.htm